This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

I have two brief commentaries today both compliments of the interwebs.

First.

Does NO ONE use Snopes anymore? Do we just see things on Facebook and accept them as true? Do we just cut and paste statuses because our friends do it? Do we not FACT CHECK anything?

This. Which about 100 of my friends -- all of whom I consider to be pretty savvy under normal circumstances -- have posted over the last day and a half. AND MY HUSBAND who just checked Facebook for the first time in a few days and started to become incensed by it as I was writing this post. 

Now it's official! It has been published in the media. Facebook has just released the entry price: $5.99 to keep the subscription of your status to be set to "private". If you paste this message on your page, it will be offered free (paste not share) if not tomorrow, all your posts can become public. Even the messages that have been deleted or the photos not allowed. After all, it does not cost anything for a simple copy and paste
Better safe than sorry is right. Channel 13 News was just talking about this change in Facebook's privacy policy. Better safe than sorry. As of September 28th 10:56 am Eastern standard time, I do not give Facebook or any entities associated with Facebook permission to use my pictures, information, or posts, both past and future. By this statement, I give notice to Facebook it is strictly forbidden to disclose, copy, distribute, or take any other action against me based on this profile and/or its contents. The content of this profile is private and confidential information. The violation of privacy can be punished by law (UCC 1-308- 1 1 308-103 and the Rome Statute). NOTE: Facebook is now a public entity. All members must post a note like this. If you prefer, you can copy and paste this version. If you do not publish a statement at least once it will be tactically allowing the use of your photos, as well as the information contained in the profile status updates. DO NOT SHARE. You MUST copy and paste.

It’s been published. IN THE MEDIA. Well, hell…it must be true.

Except that it's not. It’s a hoax. Not even a new hoax. A 3-year-old hoax. It is the Secretariat of internet hoaxes. Like a 3-year-old thoroughbred, this hoax could win the freakin’ triple crown because it too has speed and endurance.

The Winners:

The guy/gal who fabricated it Ex Nihilo 3 years ago just to have a little fun. You know they get an ego boost every time it recirculates

The guy/gal who starts each recirculation. I’m sure it feels powerful to be a Facebook puppet master for a few days – especially when you can convince otherwise intelligent adults to act according to your whims.

Snopes…the only winner I’m ok with. Because those who do fact check mostly use this website. Every visit to their website is good for them. Which means they can keep fact-checking…even though not enough people care to check facts.

The Rest of Us:

The people who posted it believing that it’s better to be safe than sorry. Safe would actually be doing some quick investigating to see if it's true. Sorry is spreading misinformation – even when it’s unintentional. Good people do this all the time, even me...so let's be safe out there.

EVERY CHANNEL 13 IN AMERICA because it makes them look like they don’t fact check. Now…there are probably plenty of Channel 13s in the USA that don’t fact-check. And Channel 5s and Channel 9s and Channel 3s….you get the picture. But Channel 13 gets singled-out every time this thing resurfaces.

The people who have to scroll through the 100s of identical posts for 2-3 days until people realize that it’s a hoax and it finally stops.

Wisdom. Perhaps the biggest loser…along with its ally…

Good Judgment. They both take a pretty big hit. Right in the brains.

Snopes, friends. S.N.O.P.E.S If you’re posting without fact-checking, you may be doing other things without fact-checking…like voting or getting angry with your kids' schools or otherwise adulting and that is quite dangerous. Please stop and check before you post.

Second.

Wi-Fi assist.

This is iOS’s new “helpful” feature that determines ON ITS OWN if the Wi-Fi you are using is too slow and automatically switches to your cellular network. Using up your data. That’s right, you don’t even have to think about it.

Very helpful. Especially to your wireless service provider because you’re using up your data without even knowing it. Until now.

Now, I’m no conspiracy theorist…but this is clearly a conspiracy. There is, mercifully, a way to shut it off, but I only know about this because someone posted it on Facebook.

AND SO I FACT-CHECKED IT (really, you must do this, people), and it turns out it’s true. Click here for more info including how to prevent a $17,000 wireless bill which will result from your teenager using Snapchat for 30 days without Wi-Fi.

WHY is this feature necessary? And what is deemed “too slow”? Are we really sooooo desperate for our tiny hand computers to work sooooo much faster that we will allow our pocketbooks to be manipulated?

This was designed by a wireless carrier. I’m 114% convinced of it.

And all of this distraction makes me think of any movie where something takes us over with relative ease…

            Machines, Birds, Sharks, Spiders, The Borg…

Because we are distracted by things like slow internet and possibly having Facebook “steal” our posts or worse…having to pay for social media that didn’t even exist 10 years ago on our tiny miracle computer phones that have barely been around for 5.

Kind of makes a girl want to unplug.

But then how would you read this blog?