Well…my second 30-day challenge was a bust. Of the
thirty-ONE days in October there were approximately four (4) that I did 30
minutes of yoga as I had intended. Don’t get me wrong, there were plenty of
days that I dropped into child’s pose after a challenging run and spent 10
minutes there. Legs up the wall? That’s BIG after a long run. In fact, most of
my post-long run stretches are derived from yoga. So it’s not that I didn’t do any yoga over the last month, but I
certainly didn’t practice yoga each
day as I had intended.
Who knows, maybe I’ll try it again later.
I chalked this minor failure up to my belief that it is
easier to subtract things than it is to add things – particularly if what one
is adding requires time. That has to be scheduled…and I don't particularly like adding things to my schedule.
This month’s challenge is going to put my belief to the test because I am once
again subtracting. But it’s a doozy – at least for me.
My November is going to be TV FREE. And Day One -- yesterday -- was almost a failure. Do you know how hard it is to
give up TV…in the South…on a weekend? I came downstairs – disoriented already from the time change
– and sat down in the family room. Where the TV was already on because my son was watching "the pregame". Pregame is always longer than the game itself so on Sunday it starts at like 7:00am. In fact I've found that all time in the universe which isn't "game time" is actually just pregame or postgame. And they bleed into one another so really...
Pregame is forever.
I sat there for a moment with my iPad until I remembered that
it was November 1 at which point I covered my eyes (like the screen was going to burn my retina), bolted out of the chair, and ran into the
other room. My family – concerned for my sanity, no doubt – followed and asked
what was wrong. And when I told them, they looked as if their worst fears had
been confirmed -- that I had, indeed, lost what was left of my mind. We watch a lot of TV and I’m sure they were thinking…what are you going to do, move to a hotel
for the entire month?
I immediately began to doubt myself and started mentally thumbing through any alternative challenges I could substitute for this one.
I have always watched TV – too much TV – and I’ve always
wondered how much more I could have accomplished in the last 42 years if it weren’t for the boob
tube. I don’t think all TV is bad…I never watch an episode of Frontline or Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown or ESPN’s 30 for 30 without marveling at the great storytelling and
the power of TV to bring it into our living rooms. I also never watch an episode of Big Brother or The Regular Show without thinking, "I can actually hear myself getting dumber." The biggest problem for me is that I too frequently use TV as an
escape or simply as background noise – where there is nothing of value absorbed.
Yesterday, my husband seemed frustrated with my choice of
challenges for the month. It wasn’t that he was worried about being put out –
or kept from watching TV (Read: football or basketball) – he just didn’t
know where I was going to go or what I was going to do when the two rooms in
our house where I spend the most time, are also the ones with the TVs. Honestly, I didn’t have an answer. And then he
asked me this:
What are you hoping to
accomplish?
It was a great question. I should have a reason, right? When I gave up sugar, it
was about my mind and body health. When I added yoga (or intended to add yoga) it was about carving out time for quiet
mindfulness that I hoped would bleed into my daily activities. What was my
purpose in changing/creating this new habit?
As I considered an answer…for the first time…I found myself reflecting on how television is bound up in my daily routine – and so much of our family time. Some days, when my son comes
downstairs in the morning, the first thing he does is turn on NBA TV or ESPN to
find out what cataclysmic sports story developed overnight…or maybe he’s just
checking scores. But it’s on – as early as 6:00am. When everyone gets home at
night, the TV goes on almost immediately (if I haven’t had it on all day) and
we watch it as we make dinner. Sometimes my kids do their homework at the kitchen
table which is essentially in one big room with the kitchen and the family
room – while the TV is on. When we sit down to eat, the TV is still on. When the kids do homework in their rooms, my
husband and I watch TV together. When I go up to bed for the night, my son is often in my room watching Full House (I despise this show, but it’s our daily time together and so I tolerate it.)
And when Audrey and I have girls’ night at home while the boys go to a
Grizzlies game or a Tigers game, we watch Criminal
Minds or Law & Order: SVU or House Hunters. And finally, at night, as I’ve
mentioned before, I fall asleep watching Friends.
It is there in all its HD glory All. Day.
Long.
Now...there’s always interaction. We talk about the characters, the stories, the issues that they depict in fictional and realistic ways. Our family interactions
range from expressions of irritation about people who use paint color and
outdated ceiling fans as deal-breakers in their housing search to lengthy
conversations about Iran (which was the case when Parts Unknown did a show from that country.) It’s not like we’re zombies staring at a
screen or like Shel Silverstein’s Jimmy
Jet and his TV Set. But TV is
knitted into our existence and I want to pull at that thread. I want to see what next 30
days will look like if I am forced (and by extension the entire family is forced) to do things a little differently.
That is essentially the answer I gave him. The other thing
that will happen is that in the next 30 days, I’ll be able to discern what, if
anything, I actually miss TV-wise.
On the first day, I noticed some interesting things:
First: Because it was Sunday, and there was football on,
there was no way for me to find space in the house where I couldn’t hear a TV.
Our house isn’t that big. A couple of times, I made use of an underutilized
space in our home and a set of earbuds and I watched a couple of TED Talks
(that is NOT TV). Both times...my kids came to find me and both times…we
talked. Apparently we need more space for non-TV-inspired conversation and yesterday afforded us multiple opportunities.
Second: I am a robot about
sitting down on the red chair and grabbing the remote control. It is almost involuntary. This is both fascinating and troubling. This voluntary
habit that I’ve spent 42 years creating is so ingrained in me that the motions
are as natural as walking and sitting. I don’t even have to think about it
anymore…it just happens. I’ve stopped myself with my thumb hovering over the
power button 3 times just this morning.
This will be an actual challenge.
Third: When I went upstairs last night to have my usual pre-bedtime
chat with my son, instead of watching Full
House we just visited about stuff – all kinds of not-so-important stuff. I
won’t lie…it was a little weird because there would be lulls in the conversation and he’d say, “So what else should we talk about?” like we were trying to fill up a certain
amount of time. But we kept at it and eventually the conversation turned to school. He remembered that he has to start his
independent reading assignment this week. It’s a mystery and he
chose Evil Under the Sun by Agatha
Christie.
It’s my favorite. He has all of November to read it. And it just so happens that I have some free time this November. What utterly perfect timing.
We decided that we will read it to each other – even though
he is 13 and perfectly capable of reading it to himself. This is how we will
finish up our evenings together. And then when we are finished with the book, we can watch the
movie together – on December 1.
I drifted off to sleep last night (without Chandler, Joey, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel, and Ross) thinking this is going to be an extremely liberating
experience once I figure out how to spend all the extra time that I used to
binge-watch HGTV during the day.
- Will my house be cleaner? This activity will be a last resort so not likely.
- Will I read more books? If I do this as a replacement for TV, maybe I can replace the reading challenge I had planned for later with another try at 30 days of yoga.
- What will I actually miss? Not Full House.
- Will I use TED Talks as a crutch? I won’t lie…probably some…at least at first.
- Will the absence of TV sounds which normally drown out the words words words in my head result in me being able to write something every day – even on the weekends? That would be great.
So many possibilities – I’m trembling with excitement. Or
maybe that’s withdrawal.
Stay tuned.
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