Extraordinary People

There are people out there living extraordinary lives. They have all kinds of different vocations and lifestyles. Some live with families and some live alone or with only their pets (I know, I know, pets are family).  They are so very interesting to talk to or just simply listen to. They have ideas and they share them. They eat well…they sleep well…they travel well…they just

Live. Well.

And I’ve been studying them. Because living well is my primary goal and I believe I can do it. And I believe I am worthy of living well.

We all are.

My research has been fun and enlightening and sometimes despite the inspiration for writing that it provides, it also keeps me from writing. The thing is…interesting people are interesting to study and I want to soak them in. I want them to breach the cracks in my exoskeleton and infiltrate my DNA.

I want to be transformed.

My classroom for study is the internet so I have made it my intention to be very selective as far as sources go.  I have no scientific method for this selection process, only intuitive discernment…that’s what works for me. There are a couple of places to which I tend to gravitate because they are consistently thorough. They are either sites that compile stories from brilliant interviews or they are podcasts of brilliant interviews.

When you ask the right questions, you can get an interesting person to tell their story.

Spoiler Alert: We are all interesting people with a story to tell and we all have the capacity to live extraordinary lives. What I’ve learned so far is that people I consider extraordinary have achieved this because they possess some very ordinary – albeit uncommon – human qualities.

There don’t seem to be any specific habits or rituals that extraordinary people share in common. They don’t eat certain foods or get a certain amount of sleep or read certain books or engage in/abstain from certain activities. If there was one habit they share, I might say that daily meditation/prayer/quiet reflection would be it, but even these practices vary along a broad spectrum from hour-long guided meditation on one end to mindful silent exercise on the other. If it is a common thread, it is one that is very loosely woven.

What these people do share in common are certain personality traits and that is what I am sharing with you today. Here are the 7 that I have identified in no particular order:

1. THEY ARE KIND TO OTHER PEOPLE. They do not see other people as characters in their story, as obstacles to overcome, or as subordinates to control. They say “please” and “thank you”. They don’t use exhaustion, busyness, or stress as an excuse to be rude. On the rare occasion that they fail to practice kindness, they say, “I’m sorry.”
2. THEY HAVE CLEARLY DEFINED VALUES, PRIORITIES, AND BOUNDARIES. They know where they want to be. They try to stay on a path that leads them to that place. They say yes to things they believe will move them forward and they say no to things that they believe will move them backward. Because they are kind, they say hello to people whose paths cross their own, but they do not become distracted by other people’s agendas.
3. THEY ARE GENEROUS. This is different than being kind, but the two are related. Extraordinary people share what they have and what they know. They can share space on their path and are happy to have company along the way. They are not beholden to “stuff”. Because they are not desperate to hold on to everything so tight, they do not carry things around that aren’t important.
4. THEY HAVE CONFIDENCE IN WHO THEY ARE. This is not ego, but genuine self-confidence. They know who they are at their core and they really like who they are the vast majority of the time. Their self-confidence is not related in any way to what they do to make money, what they produce, what they have, or what other people think about them.
5. THEY DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS IMPOSSIBLE. This means that they aren’t afraid to fail…over and over again, if necessary. They know how to be uncomfortable, uncertain, and a little scared. They write their own rules for what needs to be done and their own instruction manuals for how to make things happen.
6. THEY HAVE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH MONEY. They are not motivated solely by making money. They do not spend hours fretting over how to scale their business so someone will want to buy it. They do not devote massive resources to marketing plans which will force demand for their product. They believe that one can have enough money and having a lot more than one needs results in more pain than joy. This feeds their generosity, fearlessness, and confidence. Because they know that they are enough, they never worry about having enough.
7. THEY ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS AND LISTEN TO THE ANSWERS. This means that they are also always learning. They are more concerned with being interested than with being interesting. They meet others’ needs because they have taken the time to truly understand them and their needs are met because they ask for what they need and listen to see if they will get it. They also don’t accept any claim at face value without digging a little deeper to see what is beneath the surface.

So there you have it. So easy yet so hard. Knowing who we are and what we value is a life-long journey but when the reward is a life well-lived, it seems a worthwhile undertaking.

An extraordinary life is worth some extraordinary work.