It's Always Hot on Re-entry...and It's Going to Get Hotter

So it’s been a while. A lot has happened…probably for you too. Didn’t make a lot of time to write. Scrawled down lots of notes about things I would write if I carved out the time but mostly I just snuggled (and sometimes sweated…because this is Memphis and it wouldn’t be Memphis if it wasn’t 75 degrees on Christmas) beside the tree with my kids and watched Christmas movies and read a lot of books and listened to a lot of podcasts.

I’m calling all of that activity “fueling”.

So I entered 2016 all fueled up with a tank full of potential blog topics related to running and community and holiday rest and other things. And then Saturday, I got up early – really early for a 6-mile run with friends – and innocently began my day. It was to be a busy but joyous day. Our dear family friend was getting married and many of my chosen family had traveled from all over the country to be here for the wedding. It was a day – a weekend, really – of hugs and smiles and laughter and peace. So much peace and I was actually living inside gratitude in the moments of playing Scrabble with teenagers and making silly faces in the photo booth at the wedding reception. In what was sure to be a once-this-decade occurrence, I stayed up through midnight on New Year’s Eve/New Year’s Day in my own time zone.

I was present in joy and wow does that feel good!

But as with all shiny coins, there are two sides and as I was allowing myself to be completely open to joy, I made myself completely open to some pain. First…know this about me…I loathe all euphemisms for death. Called home…passed away…joined the Heavenly Choir…they all suck and fail to capture what is the profound sadness that those of us left behind feel when someone important dies. And that’s what happened on Saturday…in the midst of all the joy…I learned that someone who had a profound impact on me had died. Returned to ashes. And in all that openness I had allowed, I felt the greatest sting of the human condition...that it ends.

And this ending was particularly poignant for a number of reasons...one of which I will now address. 

Dale Bumpers was a good and decent man in a time and a place in which it wasn’t uncommon for individuals to be those things -- regardless of party affiliation -- and also be elected to the United States Senate. That seems to be a rarity now. Or, at the very least, those who are elected are done so only after shrouding their goodness and decency in a veil of anger, blame, fear, and hate. And that is one reason I mourn the death of the gentleman from Arkansas...he is literally a dying breed of politician.

I first saw Senator Bumpers speak at Arkansas State University in the Spring of 1986. He was, at the time, about to start campaigning for his 3^rd term (the election was 8 months away and he was about to start campaigning – just let that sink in for a second) and there was some buzz about the possibility of him running for President in 1988. I was a 7^th grader whose mom made her attend all the speakers at the University because she was a good mom, but I had no appreciation.

Until after I heard him speak.

I honestly don’t have any memory of what he said that evening, but I remember walking away thinking that becoming a public servant…that working for a civil society was part of my purpose here on earth. He made it sound worthwhile and even more than that, he made it seem attainable for a 12-year-old girl in Jonesboro, Arkansas. He planted the seed that grew into a love of politics and policy and culminated in a job working for him in Washington, DC from 1995-1998.

It was the best job during the best time of my life and despite being a 20-something-year-old with little actual influence, everything I’ve done since has lived in the shadow of that job. Everything I know about politics, research, policy writing, the federal budget process, the necessity of our intricately-designed centralized government, and the appropriate way to deal with people’s opposing views, I learned while working for him. The nuts and bolts stuff – how things worked – that was all fascinating and inordinately educational. The last piece – how to deal with people who disagree with you – that could have been life-changing...world-changing if I had stayed there. Maybe. Or if I had simply taken it with me and continued to practice it when I left Washington. 

During my employment, I had daily (and sometimes hourly) opportunities to practice civil discourse with constituents as a legislative correspondent. Most of this was in the form of letters which I wrote and he edited/approved, but I was occasionally expected to talk on the phone with people – usually really angry people who called me names like communist, welfare-lover, crazy-check pusher, and my personal favorite, baby-killer. Thankfully, all I was expected to do was listen – which I did – and tell them that I would relay their views to the Senator – which I also did – and try not to take any of it personally – which I did anyway. It was like being forced to read the comment section of…well…anything. Phone trolls preceded internet trolls by a decade and I am just thankful that most people didn’t have internet access in the mid-nineties. 

I would summarize the conversation in as brief a memo as possible (I always left out the colorful name-calling) and he would read it, jot down notes to include in any written correspondence, and send it back to me to archive. The key was that he always responded. He didn’t ignore people who disagreed with him. He didn’t call them idiots. He didn’t strip them of their humanity or of their fundamental right to disagree with him and express it. And he didn’t just do this through the filter of his staff…he did it every weekend, face-to-face with his constituents. He seemed – from my distant perspective – to have a pretty cut-and-dried way of making decisions on key issues.

Gather FACTS from as many sources as possible.

Listen to a VARIETY of opinions.

ANALYZE fact and opinion together.

Synthesize his OWN view.

Vote.

This, incidentally, is how a representative democracy works. We vote every 2, 4, or 6 years for people who we trust to vote their conscience. We do this knowing that our favorite candidate won’t always win and that even if he or she does, we won’t always agree. We do this because we accept that a referendum on each and every issue would be tedious and costly and that polls and surveys are unreliable. If a large enough portion of a representative’s constituency believes that his or her conscience no longer reflects the majority’s interests, then they have another opportunity every 2,4, or 6 years to make a change. BUT, once someone is elected and sworn in they are the Congresswoman or the Senator or the President and just because we may not have voted for him or her does NOT mean that you may cease recognizing the Constitutional authority of our government. Dissent? Yes. Disregard? NO. Some of my most frustrating conversations were with people who simply wanted us to tally up the phone calls and letters we got and have the Senator vote accordingly and if we didn't, that was just cause for a recall.

Um…no.

Over the last several years (and especially the last several months) I have often wondered how Senator Bumpers felt about how our political culture has evolved (devolved) since his retirement. I can only speculate because I have not maintained close ties with my colleagues from that period of time which I regret. I have also kept politics and political discussions at arms-length since leaving Washington and this I regret even more. But I’ve chosen to wear a coat of armor rather than step into that arena and risk relationships because truthfully I don’t see civil discourse in many places and I doubt my own ability to facilitate it.

It’s ugly out there people. And if you haven’t noticed that it’s ugly you aren’t paying attention. If you have noticed that it’s ugly and you enable the ugliness by re-posting hate speech, retweeting slander, and boosting the egos of would-be megalomaniacs…you are part of the problem. It was getting bad in 1998 – which is why Senator Bumpers called it quits – and it continues to deteriorate each year with each new, yet, perpetual election cycle.  Gone are the days of Orrin Hatch - Ted Kennedy collaborations, of John McCain – Russ Feingold alliances, of cooperation and collegiality. Also gone, incidentally, is the ability for our government to do its job and the constructive engagement of our electorate.

I don’t think that’s a coincidence. When one’s primary concern is keeping one’s job, and the people who determine one’s employment (that’s us) have demonstrated an insatiable thirst for mudslinging, character bludgeoning, and conflict, why would they get anything done? Just keep on keepin’ on…throw some blame over here, spew some canned rhetoric over there, fling a few hateful Tweets everywhere – We the People eat that shit up apparently.

So, WWDD…What would Dale do? I really don’t know. But I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t be sitting on his tail hemming and hawing over which of his relationships could and couldn’t withstand him sharing his own personal truth and then acting on it.

So how brave am I? How daring will I be? We are about to find out.