Yesterday was a day when I allowed excess ideas and words to
prevent forward progress. I was moving – at breakneck speed actually – but getting
absolutely nowhere. Wheels spinning, sitting in place. Like a hamster in a cage
on her exercise wheel. I had…all at once…too much and not enough. Very
frustrating to not know what to do with it.
In her book, Bird by
Bird, Ann Lamott speaks to the importance of writing about what you can see
through a one-inch by one-inch picture frame. There may be a lot more going on –
much more in the surrounding space – but you only need to address what can be
seen in that tiny space. That shrinks something that seems too big or too much into
a manageable portion. Good advice for running too…and cleaning my house. And
life. Shut off your peripheral vision for just a moment and take care of one thing that is right in front of you.
It’s that one step at a time principle…I don’t need to consider
everything all at once.
Writing is like that. One of the reasons that I have so many
stops and starts on my resume is that I’ll come up with an idea – a good one –
and then I am overwhelmed by the thought of
the entire process that I just walk away. Paralyzed. Numb. It’s like parenting…if
I become obsessed with the shoulds or
with the totality of what occurs between birth to college, I miss the precious
and finite opportunities to cradle the baby or play with the toddler or laugh
with the teenager. There is freedom and joy in experiencing one day – one moment
– at a time.
Today I am working on taking all of the thoughts and words churning
in my brain and making just a few coherent sentences – intentions for myself
and anyone else who wants to join in. I don’t need to write everything down. In fact, writing
everything down at this stage would be a grave mistake like eating an uncooked
filet mignon. My thoughts are pretty raw right now and they need some time on
the grill.
Today’s thought bubble: Learning to say no and learning to
say yes – that’s the same skill. It’s all about the why. Saying “no” to what is soul-crushing is saying “yes” to what is life-giving. Loving
yourself this much is the foundation for loving others.
Say yes to
something that is scary – not diarrhea scary, but butterflies-in-the-stomach
scary. (Although if it is diarrhea
scary, it might be worth investigating why.) I heard Brené Brown say, “If I’m
not a little nauseous when I’m done, I probably didn’t show up.” I intend to
show up and be seen.
Say no to
something if the only reason to say yes is to make people like you more. The
most important people will like you for who you are not for what you do. So
just try and stop it with the people-pleasing. If you need to please people, remember that you are also people. Please yourself or rather…take care of
yourself.
Slow down so that
you can choose both thoughtfully and deliberately. If someone pressures you for
an immediate decision, tell them to back the $#*! off. They can wait 5 minutes
for you to decide. Also they will think twice about rushing you in the future
and part of them will think you’re a badass for showing up on behalf of
yourself like that.
Pray for the
chance to make decisions like these and be
grateful when they are laid at your feet.
Peace out, friends.
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