Monday, October 5, 2015

Time Time Time...See What's Become of Me

I really hate that I have fiddle-farted around this morning doing basically nothing and delaying the start of my “office hours”. House Hunters Renovation is the devil and it is completely to blame for today’s late start to productivity.

I was going to watch Rehab Addict -- just 30 minutes worth -- because it inspires me to look at things differently…to restore something old…to create nothing from something…Ex Nihilo. But it wasn’t on so I settled on HHR which was a mistake. 

House Hunters always leaves me feeling like humanity is lost forever.

I watch it feeling both inspired and disgusted at the same time. I am inspired by creative design of space stretching my own capacity to see potential in things. But sometimes I am disgusted by the “characters” into whom all the homebuyers are edited (because apparently irritating people make for good TV). The couples can’t agree on anything…I’m sure they’re all headed straight for divorce court. They all want to purchase their dream homes in the perfect school district with lots of land and a view of the Pacific Ocean for about $75,000. The worst thing is that they have an inflated sense of what it means to “need” things which they express in statements such as these:

“I have to have stainless steel appliances and granite countertops.”
“I couldn’t possibly use that bathroom the way it looks now.”
“I can’t live…      that close to the freeway.
                           with carpet in the living room.
                           without a soaker tub.
                           with the harsh 1980’s lighting.”

Have to have…couldn’t possibly use…can’t live with. Strong language in world where people sleep on concrete embankments under freeway overpasses without indoor plumbing and electricity. Every night of their lives.

I could go on for days about the lack of perspective exhibited on that show, but instead, I’m going to indict myself on similar charges of using inappropriate language about the things I need or don’t need:

“I am starving,”…when I haven’t eaten in several hours.
“I need some new clothes for my job interview,”…when I actually have more clothes than space in my closet.
“I. Can. Not. Deal with anymore…      morning swim practices.
                                                            school activity fees/emails/fundraisers.
                                                            questions to answer.
                                                            dishes to do…laundry to fold…dog hair to sweep…

Well…of course I’m not starving. I have plenty of food to feed me and my family and occasionally, I have to throw food away because we let it go bad. If I’m hungry after not eating for 5-6 hours, I can’t imagine what it’s like to go 5-6 days. I don’t know what it feels like to worry that my children won’t eat because I couldn’t make my two paychecks stretch to the end of the month. I don’t know what it means to starve.

I don’t need any new clothes. Yes, there are outdated items in my wardrobe and there are things that I’ve had since college that should…under no circumstances…be worn in public. But if I had to, I could piece together an interview outfit. I’ve never sent my kids to school in clothes that are falling apart (except for the shoes they outgrew in two weeks or the shirt that had a nervous hole chewed through it…like a goat.) I have never been cold because I didn’t have enough to wear.

And all of that stuff I just cannot deal with anymore? If I suddenly found myself dealing without them, it would be through something far more tragic than me simply feeling overwhelmed. All the stuff…all the nuisances…that come with having friends, family, education, a roof over my head, healthy kids, and a sweet canine…I should feel thankful to manage those on a daily basis. I do feel thankful even when my words fail me and instead form statements and complaints that are rooted in entitlement.

If I were to create an inspirational online photo to illustrate this point, it would look like this:


When I first saw this last week…I spent TWO WHOLE DAYS thankful for the nasty dishes in the sink and the hot running water to wash them. I relished the 30 solid minutes I had with my daughter on Friday morning while we were getting ready for and driving to 5:00am swim practice. I welcomed the requests for help or information that came from others because they thought enough of me to ask…even when I couldn’t help, or didn’t know. It’s nice to be thought of as helpful (especially when you’re a bit of a psychopath.)

Possibly the worst thing I’ve taken for granted lately is the time on my hands…the gift of being able to control so much of it…and the blessing that is leisure time. This new 30-day-challenge – 30 minutes of yoga everyday – has really made me look at how I use time. It turns out I’m not a very good steward of this precious resource. It turns out that, for me, it is much more of a challenge to add something to my daily routine than it is to subtract something from my diet. As ridiculous as the sugar headache was, just figuring out when to do 30 minutes of yoga has turned out to be just as absurd – and it’s not about not having 30 minutes, it’s about deciding which 30 minutes. Just between you and me...

I’ve already failed. 4 days down and I only did the first 2 days. Pretty sad.

I had time…I just forgot. Even as my back was screaming at me for the way I was slouching in the chair watching TV. Even after talking with something about how I needed to get off the phone and do yoga. Even though I found time for a nap both days and fell asleep before 9pm both nights. I thought about counting the naps as savasana but then I’d only be cheating myself.

So this brings me to something that I hadn’t considered before, what do I do if I miss a day? Should I start over again? Should I do an hour and a half today or an hour for the next two days? Is it just about the time spent or is it about the developing the discipline to do something daily? Should I just forgive myself and move on because no one cares?

I don’t have an answer for this. I’ll entertain suggestions. I know lots of people with opinions so feel free to share. Just know that I’ll also feel free to ignore them if I think they’re too punitive.


And now I am going to go do yoga. Perhaps Yoga with Adriene has a sequence which promotes gratitude. Seems like I could use it.

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