Let's Get Creative, Friends

There are people out there who just haven't come to terms with the fact that they are doing something or producing something that isn't adding value to the world. 

For instance, these telephone books...yellow pages...that were delivered to my front door step this morning in a plastic grocery bag. 

The bag is more valuable as a dog poop collector than the books themselves. 

Why are phone books still a thing? 

Is it to make sure that we can still call a plumber if something suddenly takes out THE WHOLE INTERNET? I'm pretty sure anything which succeeded in destroying the Google would move my need for HVAC maintenance and exterminators relatively low on the priority list.

Is there some mysterious surplus of newsprint being stored somewhere that we need to spend down to make room for something else? Maybe there is some underground storage facility in middle America that is dedicated entirely to storing paper that won't absorb ink. 

I am seriously baffled by their continued existence -- as I am by the existence of newsprint, but we can cover that later.

People paid to advertise in them and on all of the covers.

People paid to spread them about...gas money which may be cheap now but what about last year when there were delivered? Was it worth $3.00/gallon to have someone drive around and distribute them then? In addition to whatever wages were paid to the delivery personnel?

I can only surmise that we are being challenged. Challenged to think outside the box and develop new uses for these items. 

Mine are currently nestled snugly between two very tall but neat piles of newspapers and magazines. It's like two Asbestos towers with an Edsel parked in between. 

I'm taking your suggestions now. What can we do with these throwbacks besides throw them back?