Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Holiday Joy Part 2

You’ll remember when I left off yesterday that a dark pall had befallen the land as I related the extraordinary plague and pestilence of our Black Friday shopping excursion to you. I should mention that before we went to the outlet mall, my husband and I had removed the Christmas tree – our pre-lit Christmas tree – from the attic and he had set it up in the family room and plugged it in. We’ve had this tree for four years and for the last two, we have plugged it in with bated breath just praying that this isn’t the year that some or all of the lights stopped working.

This was the year that we had been dreading. 

The lights on the bottom section of our 3-section tree were fine but from there on up was just dark. I tugged out some obviously burned-out bulbs and actually made one additional strand light up. But as I pulled at others, I could make no more Christmas magic. We knew then that we were going to have to deal with it. But first we went shopping and that's where we pick up our story.

It's Saturday morning. The kids are at swim practice and I decide to start unraveling the lights from the branches.

And darkness descended once again.

I can’t imagine what kind of sick, twisted, angry little Christmas elf was responsible for attaching all those lights, but he was thinking of me with hatred and vitriol as he did it. They were tied in knots, tethered to each and every branch, wound about one another and there wasn’t a single “end” to begin with -- there were dozens of "ends". It was like a Hydra. Each end led to an intersection and each intersection was coiled around a branch and each branch was wrapped in some sort of pipe cleaner that resembled bark. I really can’t adequately describe the wrath that simmered inside me as I spent an hour and a half unraveling the top section – the smallest section. I kept it from bubbling over by reminding myself that the Christmas tree was central to my favorite things about the holiday season.

See…as I have aged, the number of holiday traditions that I enjoy have grown fewer and fewer. I do find this time of year stressful and too commercialized. I enjoy very simple things like a fire in the fireplace with Christmas tunes on the stereo…a game of Banana-grams after a meal with friends…a Christmas movie in our pajamas…and my early morning coffee which I enjoy under my fleece snowflake blanket in the dark family room with only the Christmas tree lights illuminating my space. These are THE Christmas moments I cherish most.  And the Christmas tree is lit in ALL of them.

So I have to just put on my big girls panties and get these lights untangled so I can string some up that work.

And so I did. The top section. And then I moved onto the middle section and OH THE HUMANITY. Between the not running (of which I was into my fourth day by now) and the pouring down rain outside and the football game on TV, I felt there was some invisible force determined to deliver me as many soul-crushing defeats as possible. I actually believed that this was being done to me. Not rational I realize now (because I have gone for two runs since then and my sanity has been restored), but wow did it feel real in the moment.

My husband helped me tackle the middle section after I explained to him the importance of this tree to my personal well-being. I think he knew that if he didn’t help, there was a chance that he might be killed in his sleep.

By someone.

So we toiled. For 3 long hours – or however long a college football game lasts. We started at kickoff and they took down the goal posts about the same time we snipped off that last tangled mat of green wire from the very last branch. I was telling a friend yesterday morning about the experience and she said that she hoped we had at least put a Christmas movie or some Christmas music on while we worked. I told her that we didn’t but that it was OK because there was football on and a heart-warming performance by the “Rage Against Humanity Ensemble Singers” playing in my head. Who needs Movies and Music when you have your own mad melody and hostile harmony to keep you warm? Certainly not me.

When we were done – our arms a shredded mess from the constant jabbing from all the synthetic branches and our spirits heavy from the hours of my ranting about the tiny angry bearded elf who had done this or about the company that paid him to create such a jumbled mess that when the lights went out we would just chuck the whole thing and buy a new tree. Yes, by the 3rd quarter, I was sure it was a corporate conspiracy and even though my back hurt and my arms looked like I had been in a fight with Freddy Kruger, I was determined not to give any of the artificial tree conglomerates the satisfaction of me buying anything that they manufactured. EVER.

Now it was simply a matter of principle.

We reassembled the tree, strung new lights – in a far more friendly and loving manner than the hostile elf had done – and plugged everything in. It was dark outside now and still raining. The tree, even without its ornaments, was immediately soothing. It was totally worth it and I had, for the moment, beaten corporate America at its goodwill-annihilating game.

Win. Win.

And now as I sit here…drinking my coffee…after an invigorating 5-mile run…under my fleece blanket…in front of my perfectly-lit Christmas tree. I realize how ridiculous it all was. The cortisol alone probably trimmed 5 years off my life and for what? It’s Christmas. I’m supposed to be joyful – filled with joy.

Sunday night…alone in the quiet family room next to my perfectly-lit Christmas tree…I watched a Ted Talk by this neuroscientist named Daniel Levitin about ways in which we can stay calm when we know ahead of time that there is the potential for stress. How can we avoid making critical mistakes (like surrendering our own joy) in stressful situations (like hours spent untangling burned-out Christmas tree lights or when you choose to go on a Black Friday shopping excursion)? What he suggested was a pre-mortem.

Like a post-mortem but before the death of your good sense and best intentions.

I guess I had kind of tried that with my “let’s be someone else while we shop” plan of action on Black Friday but we all know that trying to be something you’re not isn’t usually successful…not in the best of situations and certainly not in a fight or flight scenario. Probably the best thing to do to avoid making a mistake when venturing out on Black Friday – at least for me – is to just not do it at all.The shopping is the mistake and it causes stress which leads to more mistakes. I’m not sure there is any amount of planning, list-making, or Xanax that will make that an experience that I enjoy. 

But what to do about the burned out lights?

I sit here looking at my tree with complete confidence that the original lights in the bottom section will not work when we plug it in a year from now – if they even make it through the next 35 days. The tag on the remaining original cord says 100 hours of usage and I know we have more than exhausted that. Still, I have a year (or a couple of days) to decide how I’m going to handle it when it happens. Probably should pop in that Christmas movie – a funny one – and turn it way up to drown out the voices of the Rage Against Humanity Ensemble singers who are perpetually ready to perform. I think long sleeves will be in order too to protect my arms from the claw-like branches. And wine or beer will be a must. Because, yes, the alcohol may indeed slow me down and ultimately make it take longer, but it will also inhibit the anger which, for that few hours, will benefit everyone in my immediate vicinity.

Pre-mortem. Check.


And now…on to the next 30-day challenge which has already begun.

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